Getting engaged and planning a wedding is one of the biggest steps a couple can take together. But between cake tastings, venue tours, and honeymoon research, consider tackling a decidedly less-fun task: Have an honest talk about your student loan debt.
After all, there’s a good chance you or your future spouse are among the 44.2 million Americans with student loan debt. If you are, now’s the time to have the talk about finances, if you haven’t already.
“Often when people are in the blissful, early stages of their relationship, the last thing they want to do is talk about money or debt,” said Heidi McBain, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “But if it’s not discussed openly from the start, this can cause major stress in their marriage later on.”
To make the discussion easier, follow these seven steps recommended by money and relationship experts.
1. Schedule time for a state of the union discussion
Having the money talk can be tense, so don’t spring the conversation on your partner.
Instead, Caitlin Bergstein, a Boston-based matchmaker with Three Day Rule, recommended setting aside time to talk. “You can say something as simple as, ‘Let’s sit down and talk about our student loan info on Saturday afternoon so we can start to put together a plan.’ This way, you’ll both be prepared for the conversation, which will make it more productive.”
If this sounds awkward, ease into the discussion instead.
“Try starting with a conversation about your financial goals,” suggested Sam Schultz, co-founder and CEO of Honeyfi, a free app that helps couples manage money. “Compared to student loans, goals can be a more positive and fun way to start talking about money. Once you get a financial dialogue going, it’s easier to naturally get into conversations like spending habits and student debt.”
2. Put it all out there
Open up your money conversation with the goal of understanding your partner’s general financial outlook, rather than diving right into details, recommended Wilson Muscadin, a certified financial educator and founder of The Money Speakeasy.
“Personal finances are much more about behavior and mindset than dollars and cents,” he said. This means tackling questions such as whether your partner talked about money with their parents growing up, and how comfortable your partner is with carrying debt.
Schultz also recommended a big-picture approach, addressing issues such as current monthly spending and financial goals. “As part of that discussion, you should dig into your student loans,” he said. When you do, there are a few key questions to address:
- What do you owe?
- What’s the interest rate?
- What’s the minimum payment?
- When do you expect the loans to be repaid?
While focusing on debt might seem like a downer, you’re setting a solid foundation for your future. “These conversations are hard, but if you start doing them at the beginning of your relationship, this will create a positive environment where you can have these conversations later on in marriage,” said McBain.
3. Set financial goals together
Since you’re building a future with your partner, focus not just on your current money situation but also on what you hope to accomplish.
“Figure out what your priorities are as a couple,” Bergstein advised. “Would you rather save up to pay off your student loan debt or is it more important that you take a big trip each year, have a big wedding, or put a down payment on a house?”
If your answers to these questions are different, keep talking until you find a compromise. “Both partners have to be on the same page financially,” stressed Muscadin. This doesn’t mean you must agree on everything or nail down every detail, but you should reach a consensus on a broad framework for handling money.
4. Decide if loan repayment will be a joint project
As you consider your debt payoff plan and other goals, there’s one big question to answer: How much of your financial lives will you combine?
“If you’re keeping bank accounts separate, that probably means you’ll each use your individual income to pay for your own student loans,” Schultz explained. “If you’re combining finances, that probably means you’re using your combined income to pay for both of your student loans. Make sure you’re both comfortable with that.”
Of course, even with separate accounts, your partner’s debt and spending habits affect things you do as a couple, such as buying a house or starting a family. “Regardless of who incurred the debt, as a married couple, you both own it,” Muscadin said.
Even if your bank accounts won’t have both your names on them, debt repayment must be a team goal.
5. Choose the right student loan repayment options
When discussing student loans, make sure you’ve chosen repayment plans that make sense.
“There are a ton of repayment options out there, some of which can significantly lower your payment or interest rate,” Bergstein advised. For example, income-driven repayment plans can lower the amount you must pay toward loans each month. But marriage could change the amount you pay monthly if your combined income is counted.
Bergstein also advised couples to find out if either spouse is eligible for loan forgiveness for qualifying public service work, and to look into refinancing student loans if your current interest rates are high.
6. Set a budget that addresses debt repayment
Once you’ve got a broad idea of how you’ll handle your cash, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty details. That means creating a budget.
“For most couples, creating a budget isn’t a fun activity,” Schultz said. “But crunching the numbers is crucial. It makes you more likely to actually align on money and avoid big, unpleasant surprises after you get married.”
Schultz explained this process is important, even if you’ll be keeping separate finances. “It will help you understand your partner’s financial stressors and concerns, and you’ll also be able to use each other as a sounding board for important financial decisions,” he said.
7. Schedule regular money meetings
Once you’ve tackled the tough issue of student debt and are ready to walk down the aisle, set a plan for money management in the future. To make sure this process goes smoothly, Muscadin recommended scheduling monthly money dates.
“Sit down with your partner monthly to check in on your financial progress, budget, and look forward,” he advised. These meetings allow you to make adjustments to your payment plan, tweak your budget, and set new goals as life changes.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Muscadin recommended you celebrate your wins, no matter how small. When you work together to accomplish your goals, you can do anything — even pay off lots of student loan debt.
Interested in refinancing student loans?Here are the top 8 lenders of 2019!
|Lender||Variable APR||Eligible Degrees|
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1 Important Disclosures for Earnest.
To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application.
Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.20% APR (with Auto Pay) to 6.99% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 1.99% APR (with Auto Pay) to 6.89% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of December 13, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility.
Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance.
The information provided on this page is updated as of 12/13/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on our student loan refinance product.
© 2018 Earnest LLC. All rights reserved. Earnest LLC and its subsidiaries, including Earnest Operations LLC, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.
2 Important Disclosures for SoFi.
3 Important Disclosures for Figure.
Figure’s Student Refinance Loan is a private loan. If you refinance federal loans, you forfeit certain flexible repayment options associated with those loans. If you expect to incur financial hardship that would impact your ability to repay, you should consider federal consolidation alternatives.
4 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road.
Laurel Road Disclosures
Laurel Road is a brand of KeyBank National Association offering online lending products in all 50 U.S. states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. Mortgage lending is not offered in Puerto Rico. All loans are provided by KeyBank National Association.
ANNUAL PERCENTAGE RATE (“APR”)
There are no origination fees or prepayment penalties associated with the loan. Lender may assess a late fee if any part of a payment is not received within 15 days of the payment due date. Any late fee assessed shall not exceed 5% of the late payment or $28, whichever is less. A borrower may be charged $20 for any payment (including a check or an electronic payment) that is returned unpaid due to non-sufficient funds (NSF) or a closed account.
For bachelor’s degrees and higher, up to 100% of outstanding private and federal student loans (minimum $5,000) are eligible for refinancing. If you are refinancing greater than $300,000 in student loan debt, Lender may refinance the loans into 2 or more new loans.
ELIGIBILITY & ELIGIBLE LOANS
Borrower, and Co-signer if applicable, must be a U.S. Citizen or Permanent Resident with a valid I-551 card (which must show a minimum of 10 years between “Resident Since” date and “Card Expires” date or has no expiration date); state that they are of at least borrowing age in the state of residence at the time of application; and meet Lender underwriting criteria (including, for example, employment, debt-to-income, disposable income, and credit history requirements).
Graduates may refinance any unsubsidized or subsidized Federal or private student loan that was used exclusively for qualified higher education expenses (as defined in 26 USC Section 221) at an accredited U.S. undergraduate or graduate school. Any federal loans refinanced with Lender are private loans and do not have the same repayment options that federal loan program offers such as Income Based Repayment or Income Contingent Repayment.
All loans must be in grace or repayment status and cannot be in default. Borrower must have graduated or be enrolled in good standing in the final term preceding graduation from an accredited Title IV U.S. school and must be employed, or have an eligible offer of employment. Parents looking to refinance loans taken out on behalf of a child should refer to https://www.laurelroad.com/refinance-student-loans/refinance-parent-plus-loans/ for applicable terms and conditions.
For Associates Degrees: Only associates degrees earned in one of the following are eligible for refinancing: Cardiovascular Technologist (CVT); Dental Hygiene; Diagnostic Medical Sonography; EMT/Paramedics; Nuclear Technician; Nursing; Occupational Therapy Assistant; Pharmacy Technician; Physical Therapy Assistant; Radiation Therapy; Radiologic/MRI Technologist; Respiratory Therapy; or Surgical Technologist. To refinance an Associates degree, a borrower must also either be currently enrolled and in the final term of an associate degree program at a Title IV eligible school with an offer of employment in the same field in which they will receive an eligible associate degree OR have graduated from a school that is Title IV eligible with an eligible associate and have been employed, for a minimum of 12 months, in the same field of study of the associate degree earned.
The interest rate you are offered will depend on your credit profile, income, and total debt payments as well as your choice of fixed or variable and choice of term. For applicants who are currently medical or dental residents, your rate offer may also vary depending on whether you have secured employment for after residency.
The repayment of any refinanced student loan will commence (1) immediately after disbursement by us, or (2) after any grace or in-school deferment period, existing prior to refinancing and/or consolidation with us, has expired.
POSTPONING OR REDUCING PAYMENTS
After loan disbursement, if a borrower documents a qualifying economic hardship, we may agree in our discretion to allow for full or partial forbearance of payments for one or more 3-month time periods (not to exceed 12 months in the aggregate during the term of your loan), provided that we receive acceptable documentation (including updating documentation) of the nature and expected duration of the borrower’s economic hardship.
We may agree under certain circumstances to allow a borrower to make $100/month payments for a period of time immediately after loan disbursement if the borrower is employed full-time as an intern, resident, or similar postgraduate trainee at the time of loan disbursement. These payments may not be enough to cover all of the interest that accrues on the loan. Unpaid accrued interest will be added to your loan and monthly payments of principal and interest will begin when the post-graduate training program ends.
We may agree under certain circumstances to allow postponement (deferral) of monthly payments of principal and interest for a period of time immediately following loan disbursement (not to exceed 6 months after the borrower’s graduation with an eligible degree), if the borrower is an eligible student in the borrower’s final term at the time of loan disbursement or graduated less than 6 months before loan disbursement, and has accepted an offer of (or has already begun) full-time employment.
If Lender agrees (in its sole discretion) to postpone or reduce any monthly payment(s) for a period of time, interest on the loan will continue to accrue for each day principal is owed. Although the borrower might not be required to make payments during such a period, the borrower may continue to make payments during such a period. Making payments, or paying some of the interest, will reduce the total amount that will be required to be paid over the life of the loan. Interest not paid during any period when Lender has agreed to postpone or reduce any monthly payment will be added to the principal balance through capitalization (compounding) at the end of such a period, one month before the borrower is required to resume making regular monthly payments.
KEYBANK NATIONAL ASSOCIATION RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE.
This information is current as of November 8, 2019 and is subject to change.
5 Important Disclosures for Splash Financial.
Splash Financial Disclosures
Terms and Conditions apply. Splash reserves the right to modify or discontinue products and benefits at any time without notice. Rates and terms are also subject to change at any time without notice. Offers are subject to credit approval. To qualify, a borrower must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident in an eligible state and meet applicable underwriting requirements. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. Lowest rates are reserved for the highest qualified borrowers.
6 Important Disclosures for CommonBond.
Offered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown. All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 1.76% effective November 10, 2019.
7 Important Disclosures for LendKey.
Refinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution.
Subject to floor rate and may require the automatic payments be made from a checking or savings account with the lender. The rate reduction will be removed and the rate will be increased by 0.25% upon any cancellation or failed collection attempt of the automatic payment and will be suspended during any period of deferment or forbearance. As a result, during the forbearance or suspension period, and/or if the automatic payment is canceled, any increase will take the form of higher payments. The lowest advertised variable APR is only available for loan terms of 5 years and is reserved for applicants with FICO scores of at least 810.
As of 12/07/2019 student loan refinancing rates range from 1.90% to 8.59% Variable APR with AutoPay and 3.49% to 7.75% Fixed APR with AutoPay.
8 Important Disclosures for College Ave.
College Ave Disclosures
College Ave Student Loans products are made available through either Firstrust Bank, member FDIC or M.Y. Safra Bank, FSB, member FDIC. All loans are subject to individual approval and adherence to underwriting guidelines. Program restrictions, other terms, and conditions apply.
1College Ave Refi Education loans are not currently available to residents of Maine.
2All rates shown include autopay discount. The 0.25% auto-pay interest rate reduction applies as long as a valid bank account is designated for required monthly payments. Variable rates may increase after consummation.
3$5,000 is the minimum requirement to refinance. The maximum loan amount is $300,000 for those with medical, dental, pharmacy or veterinary doctorate degrees, and $150,000 for all other undergraduate or graduate degrees.
4This informational repayment example uses typical loan terms for a refi borrower with a Full Principal & Interest Repayment and a 10-year repayment term, has a $40,000 loan and a 5.5% Annual Percentage Rate (“APR”): 120 monthly payments of $434.11 while in the repayment period, for a total amount of payments of $52,092.61. Loans will never have a full principal and interest monthly payment of less than $50. Your actual rates and repayment terms may vary.
Information advertised valid as of 12/1/2019. Variable interest rates may increase after consummation.
|1.99% – 6.89%1||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.31% – 7.36%2||Undergrad & Graduate|
|1.99% – 6.75%3||Undergrad & Graduate|
|1.99% – 6.65%4||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.43% – 7.60%5||Undergrad & Graduate|
|1.85% – 6.13%6||Undergrad & Graduate|
|1.90% – 8.59%7||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.74% – 6.25%8||Undergrad & Graduate|