Whether you’re considering merging finances with your significant other (SO) or you’ve already been married for years, you know by now that the money talk is necessary. You just might be tired of having it.
That’s where a regularly scheduled finance or budget meeting can help.
Money is no longer a daily topic of conversation. By setting aside time weekly or monthly to talk about long-term goals, you and your SO can find yourselves living them without having to say a word.
Here’s why you and your significant other might gain value from a recurring meeting, along with a four-step plan for trying it out.
How to have a successful finance meeting with your SO
When my wife and I started thinking about how to have a finance meeting, we thought about what made meetings work at our day jobs. We wanted ours to be about action — to help us make a financial plan and track our progress.
These four steps got us started.
1. Set aside time and stick to it
It’s easy to put off a conversation if you don’t want to have it in the first place. Your first finance meeting might feel like homework, and you might be less inclined to stick to the routine for subsequent meetings.
To combat this, set a recurring meeting time and stick to it. My wife and I meet before dinner on the first of every month, no matter what.
Meeting regularly also helps you get on the same page when it comes to spending and saving. Before my wife and I got married, we used our meeting to evenly divide regular expenses using the Splitwise app. Now, we’re better at budgeting as a couple using Mint.
Set a length for the meeting as well. Having just an hour, for example, forces you to be organized about how you use the meeting time. You might set a timer so you can focus on your agenda without watching the clock.
2. Customize your meeting agenda
To make the most of your time, organize the discussion before it starts. You could even use your first finance meeting to discuss how future meetings should be run.
My wife and I created a shared document online to organize our meetings. The agenda is structured so we review the following:
- Action items from our last meeting
- Our monthly budget
- Mid- and long-term savings goals
- Financial lessons we learned over the last month
We also like having an open forum at the end of each meeting so we can bring up any questions or concerns related to money. I’ve used it as an opportunity to talk about big, out-there ideas, such as retiring early to travel the world.
Your meeting might include obvious items, such as your budget, but it also should include categories that are specific to your situation. You might discuss responsible use of a joint credit card, for example.
And if you or your partner is in the process of paying off student loans, you might use five to 10 minutes in each meeting to track your repayment progress.
3. List action items and deadlines
My wife and I pay off our debt at the beginning of each meeting. Usually, that means zeroing our credit card balances. In one of our more memorable meetings, my wife paid off her $5,000 student loan for her master’s degree.
We cross off other to-do’s during the meeting as well. One time, for example, we outlined a cooking schedule to save money each week.
But to be honest, if we finished every task during the meeting, we’d never leave our kitchen table. Some to-do’s take considerable time.
So, even though your finance meeting should be a working session, you might have to give each other homework.
Action items from our meetings have included:
- Making an extra student loan payment
- Picking the right bank for our emergency fund
- Closing unused credit cards
- Taking a defensive driving course to save on auto insurance
Make sure your tasks are specific to the growing pains of your household’s finances. Then, set deadlines so they get done. My wife and I assign as many as five to 10 tasks evenly and aim to complete them before the next month’s meeting.
4. Be a good partner — and make it fun
Even if you’re the “money person” in your relationship, remember that the point of the meeting is to give both you and your partner the chance to speak up, be heard, and join forces. This process is about you as a couple, not about you as an individual.
Your listening skills will be put to the test when your significant other wants to make a big purchase you’re not so sure about. Make sure you hear them out. Then, ensure you both understand how a big purchase fits into your short-term budget and might affect your long-term goals.
It’s OK to disagree initially, but try to work toward a consensus before the meeting ends.
Also, try keeping the meeting fun. My wife and I are competitive, so we use our meeting to check in on who has the higher credit score. That playfully competitive moment in the meeting can defuse any disagreement that came before it.
Start talking about money with your SO
Talking about money might not be your favorite pastime. It’s definitely not my wife’s. But we’ve found that through a regularly scheduled meeting, talking about money is much easier.
Once you get on the same page with your significant other, you’ll both be working toward your mutual money goals.
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1 Important Disclosures for SoFi.
2 Important Disclosures for Earnest.
To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application.
Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.89% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.89% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 2.54% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.27% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of March 18, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility.
Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance.
The information provided on this page is updated as of 0318/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on ourstudent loan refinance product.
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3 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road.
Laurel Road Disclosures
However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the fixed rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular fixed interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.
However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the variable rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular variable interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.
4 Important Disclosures for LendKey.
Refinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution.
5 Important Disclosures for CommonBond.
Offered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown.
All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 2.5% effective February 10, 2019.
6 Important Disclosures for Citizens Bank.
Citizens Bank Disclosures
|2.54% – 7.12%3||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.54% – 7.27%1||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.67% – 8.96%4||Undergrad & Graduate|
|3.23% – 6.65%2||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.69% – 7.43%5||Undergrad & Graduate|
|2.98% – 9.72%6||Undergrad & Graduate|