Money is often a major source of strife between couples. It can be difficult for long-term partners to build wealth together when one person has student loans. Marking your status as “Married filing separately” could be a better option for tax purposes, but that’s just one of the financial decisions you’ll need to make.
Perhaps you want to help your significant other pay off student loans, so you can enjoy a debt-free future together. It’s not uncommon for couples to want to combine finances with their partners, which might mean helping them pay off their debt once and for all.
However, others believe in keeping their finances separate. If their partner got into debt, it’s their responsibility to get out. Here are some points to consider on both sides of the argument so you can decide the best course of action when marrying someone with student loan:
Why you should help your significant other pay back student loans
When helping your partner pay off student loans is a bad idea
Bonus: How to file taxes with student loan debt if you’re married
Why you should help your significant other pay off student loans
As someone with $33,000 in student loan debt, I know how burdensome the numbers can feel. My husband does too, since he has more than $300,000 in student loan debt — much of it from medical school.
Even though he owes nearly 10 times more than I do, I still feel it is our debt to tackle together, and we plan on helping each other pay it off in full. After all, we decided together that he would go to medical school. I know that if we also work together to pay it off, we’ll be debt-free that much sooner.
In fact, helping your significant other pay off their student loans can have both financial and emotional benefits:
1. You achieve your goals faster
When one or both partners in a couple have debt, it holds them back from accomplishing what they really want to do together in life. Whether it’s going on a family vacation or saving for retirement, working together to overcome debt can help you achieve your goals as a couple faster — especially if one person earns significantly more income.
This can also be a wise decision if you foresee needing to take out a loan in the future for a major life event, such as buying a house together. It can be a complete win-win: both partners are able to do what they enjoy, reach mutual financial goals quickly and move on to new stages in the relationship.
2. You can strengthen your relationship
When two people enter a long-term relationship, the expectation is that they’ll work together to reach common goals. Yet money troubles are a chief cause of tension for many couples and often go unaddressed. Sitting down to have the difficult conversation about how you’ll pay off debt together can bring money-related issues to the surface and urge you to work together.
It’s also empowering to reach difficult goals together. By paying attention to spending, putting extra income toward loan payoff and concentrating on maintaining a budget, a couple can generate the spirit of cooperation and learn what two people can accomplish together.
When helping your partner pay off student loans is a bad idea
Marrying someone with student loan debt can be a challenge. Every relationship is different, and not all couples will find that helping each other pay off this obligation is the best choice. There are instances when you’re better off letting your significant other tackle this on their own.
1. You maintain separate finances
According to TD Bank’s Love and Money Survey, 55% of couples combine their money. This means nearly half (45%) of couples choose to keep at least part of their finances separate.
There’s nothing wrong with keeping separate finances in a relationship. Some people feel restricted when they have to maintain a shared budget with a significant other, or as though they can’t spend their own money as they please. It’s relatively common for couples to have separate accounts in addition to a joint account for shared expenses, such as mortgage payments and groceries.
If you’re part of a couple that likes to keep things separate, student loan debt should be no different. If you don’t expect your significant other to help pay your credit card bills or everyday expenses, you shouldn’t ask for help paying down student loan debt, either (and neither should they).
2. Your partner manages money poorly
A history of money problems is good reason to let your significant other handle student loan debt without your help. Poor financial decisions or a lack of money management skills won’t improve if you’re there to bail your partner out.
Instead, act as their biggest supporter and only give advice when asked. When it comes to reaching goals — especially money-related ones — it’s sometimes best to let a poor money manager learn the hard way and hone some personal finance skills in the process.
There are plenty of good reasons to help your significant other pay off student loan debt, as well as to stay out of it. Your decision should be based on how well your partner manages money, what you’ve agreed to as a couple and how significantly that student loan debt is impacting your lives.
Remember, the goal of any long-term relationship is to live a happy, prosperous and pleasant life together. So decide what will best contribute to reaching that goal, whether it’s by helping with debt repayment or by allowing your partner to handle it independently.
Alternatives if you don’t want to help your partner pay off student loans
There are plenty of good reasons to not help your partner pay off their student loans — i.e., you have other debts to pay off yourself or they’re not good with money. So if you’ve decided against chipping in, there are other ways for them to get assistance, if needed.
Depending on the type of student loans they have, plenty of payment options are available to help them if they’re having trouble keeping up. A deferment or forbearance will allow them to temporarily lower their monthly payments or stop making payments altogether for a limited time. They might also be able to refinance their private and federal student loans to get a lower interest rate, reduce their monthly payment or both.
Filing for taxes with student loan debt: Married filing separately or jointly?
Regardless of which option you choose, you and your significant other will have to decide together how to file for taxes. When even one person is working to pay off student loans, going with “married filing separately” or “married filing jointly” is a major tax decision you must make.
If your significant other has student loans with an income-based repayment plan, filing separately could result in lower student loan payments. However, do note that married couples who file their taxes jointly typically have lower tax bills. Therefore, opting to file separately while paying off student loans may result in a higher tax bill.
From your tax return to whether you help your significant other pay off their student loans, know that every couple is different. These are personal decisions that you’ll need to make with each other. Work together to find a solution that fits your unique situation.
Laura Woods contributed to this report.
Interested in refinancing student loans?
Here are the top 8 lenders of 2020!| Lender | Variable APR | Eligible Degrees | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Check out the testimonials and our in-depth reviews! 1 Important Disclosures for Earnest. Earnest DisclosuresTo qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application. Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.20% APR (with Auto Pay) to 6.99% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 1.99% APR (with Auto Pay) to 6.89% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of December 13, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility. Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance. The information provided on this page is updated as of 12/13/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at hello@earnest.com, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on our student loan refinance product. © 2018 Earnest LLC. All rights reserved. Earnest LLC and its subsidiaries, including Earnest Operations LLC, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America. 2 Important Disclosures for SoFi. SoFi Disclosures
3 Important Disclosures for Figure. Figure DisclosuresFigure’s Student Refinance Loan is a private loan. If you refinance federal loans, you forfeit certain flexible repayment options associated with those loans. If you expect to incur financial hardship that would impact your ability to repay, you should consider federal consolidation alternatives. 4 Important Disclosures for College Ave. College Ave DisclosuresCollege Ave Student Loans products are made available through either Firstrust Bank, member FDIC or M.Y. Safra Bank, FSB, member FDIC. All loans are subject to individual approval and adherence to underwriting guidelines. Program restrictions, other terms, and conditions apply. 1College Ave Refi Education loans are not currently available to residents of Maine. 2All rates shown include autopay discount. The 0.25% auto-pay interest rate reduction applies as long as a valid bank account is designated for required monthly payments. Variable rates may increase after consummation. 3$5,000 is the minimum requirement to refinance. The maximum loan amount is $300,000 for those with medical, dental, pharmacy or veterinary doctorate degrees, and $150,000 for all other undergraduate or graduate degrees. 4This informational repayment example uses typical loan terms for a refi borrower with a Full Principal & Interest Repayment and a 10-year repayment term, has a $40,000 loan and a 5.5% Annual Percentage Rate (“APR”): 120 monthly payments of $434.11 while in the repayment period, for a total amount of payments of $52,092.61. Loans will never have a full principal and interest monthly payment of less than $50. Your actual rates and repayment terms may vary. Information advertised valid as of 1/1/2020. Variable interest rates may increase after consummation. 5 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road. Laurel Road DisclosuresLaurel Road is a brand of KeyBank National Association offering online lending products in all 50 U.S. states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. Mortgage lending is not offered in Puerto Rico. All loans are provided by KeyBank National Association. ANNUAL PERCENTAGE RATE (“APR”) FEE INFORMATION There are no origination fees or prepayment penalties associated with the loan. Lender may assess a late fee if any part of a payment is not received within 15 days of the payment due date. Any late fee assessed shall not exceed 5% of the late payment or $28, whichever is less. A borrower may be charged $20 for any payment (including a check or an electronic payment) that is returned unpaid due to non-sufficient funds (NSF) or a closed account. LOAN AMOUNT For bachelor’s degrees and higher, up to 100% of outstanding private and federal student loans (minimum $5,000) are eligible for refinancing. If you are refinancing greater than $300,000 in student loan debt, Lender may refinance the loans into 2 or more new loans. ELIGIBILITY & ELIGIBLE LOANS Borrower, and Co-signer if applicable, must be a U.S. Citizen or Permanent Resident with a valid I-551 card (which must show a minimum of 10 years between “Resident Since” date and “Card Expires” date or has no expiration date); state that they are of at least borrowing age in the state of residence at the time of application; and meet Lender underwriting criteria (including, for example, employment, debt-to-income, disposable income, and credit history requirements). Graduates may refinance any unsubsidized or subsidized Federal or private student loan that was used exclusively for qualified higher education expenses (as defined in 26 USC Section 221) at an accredited U.S. undergraduate or graduate school. Any federal loans refinanced with Lender are private loans and do not have the same repayment options that federal loan program offers such as Income Based Repayment or Income Contingent Repayment. All loans must be in grace or repayment status and cannot be in default. Borrower must have graduated or be enrolled in good standing in the final term preceding graduation from an accredited Title IV U.S. school and must be employed, or have an eligible offer of employment. Parents looking to refinance loans taken out on behalf of a child should refer to https://www.laurelroad.com/refinance-student-loans/refinance-parent-plus-loans/ for applicable terms and conditions. For Associates Degrees: Only associates degrees earned in one of the following are eligible for refinancing: Cardiovascular Technologist (CVT); Dental Hygiene; Diagnostic Medical Sonography; EMT/Paramedics; Nuclear Technician; Nursing; Occupational Therapy Assistant; Pharmacy Technician; Physical Therapy Assistant; Radiation Therapy; Radiologic/MRI Technologist; Respiratory Therapy; or Surgical Technologist. To refinance an Associates degree, a borrower must also either be currently enrolled and in the final term of an associate degree program at a Title IV eligible school with an offer of employment in the same field in which they will receive an eligible associate degree OR have graduated from a school that is Title IV eligible with an eligible associate and have been employed, for a minimum of 12 months, in the same field of study of the associate degree earned. INTEREST RATES The interest rate you are offered will depend on your credit profile, income, and total debt payments as well as your choice of fixed or variable and choice of term. For applicants who are currently medical or dental residents, your rate offer may also vary depending on whether you have secured employment for after residency. DISBURSEMENT OPTIONS The repayment of any refinanced student loan will commence (1) immediately after disbursement by us, or (2) after any grace or in-school deferment period, existing prior to refinancing and/or consolidation with us, has expired. POSTPONING OR REDUCING PAYMENTS After loan disbursement, if a borrower documents a qualifying economic hardship, we may agree in our discretion to allow for full or partial forbearance of payments for one or more 3-month time periods (not to exceed 12 months in the aggregate during the term of your loan), provided that we receive acceptable documentation (including updating documentation) of the nature and expected duration of the borrower’s economic hardship. We may agree under certain circumstances to allow a borrower to make $100/month payments for a period of time immediately after loan disbursement if the borrower is employed full-time as an intern, resident, or similar postgraduate trainee at the time of loan disbursement. These payments may not be enough to cover all of the interest that accrues on the loan. Unpaid accrued interest will be added to your loan and monthly payments of principal and interest will begin when the post-graduate training program ends. We may agree under certain circumstances to allow postponement (deferral) of monthly payments of principal and interest for a period of time immediately following loan disbursement (not to exceed 6 months after the borrower’s graduation with an eligible degree), if the borrower is an eligible student in the borrower’s final term at the time of loan disbursement or graduated less than 6 months before loan disbursement, and has accepted an offer of (or has already begun) full-time employment. If Lender agrees (in its sole discretion) to postpone or reduce any monthly payment(s) for a period of time, interest on the loan will continue to accrue for each day principal is owed. Although the borrower might not be required to make payments during such a period, the borrower may continue to make payments during such a period. Making payments, or paying some of the interest, will reduce the total amount that will be required to be paid over the life of the loan. Interest not paid during any period when Lender has agreed to postpone or reduce any monthly payment will be added to the principal balance through capitalization (compounding) at the end of such a period, one month before the borrower is required to resume making regular monthly payments. KEYBANK NATIONAL ASSOCIATION RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. This information is current as of November 8, 2019 and is subject to change. 6 Important Disclosures for Splash Financial. Splash Financial DisclosuresTerms and Conditions apply. Splash reserves the right to modify or discontinue products and benefits at any time without notice. Rates and terms are also subject to change at any time without notice. Offers are subject to credit approval. To qualify, a borrower must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident in an eligible state and meet applicable underwriting requirements. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. Lowest rates are reserved for the highest qualified borrowers. 7 Important Disclosures for CommonBond. CommonBond DisclosuresOffered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown. All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 1.76% effective November 10, 2019. 8 Important Disclosures for LendKey. LendKey DisclosuresRefinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution. Subject to floor rate and may require the automatic payments be made from a checking or savings account with the lender. The rate reduction will be removed and the rate will be increased by 0.25% upon any cancellation or failed collection attempt of the automatic payment and will be suspended during any period of deferment or forbearance. As a result, during the forbearance or suspension period, and/or if the automatic payment is canceled, any increase will take the form of higher payments. The lowest advertised variable APR is only available for loan terms of 5 years and is reserved for applicants with FICO scores of at least 810. As of 12/019/2019 student loan refinancing rates range from 1.90% to 8.59% Variable APR with AutoPay and 3.49% to 7.75% Fixed APR with AutoPay. |
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 | 1.99% – 6.89%1 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 2.31% – 7.36%2 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 2.06% – 6.81%3 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 2.62% – 6.12%4 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 1.99% – 6.65%5 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 1.99% – 7.06%6 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 1.85% – 6.13%7 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
 | 1.90% – 8.59%8 | Undergrad & Graduate | |
